I am 37. I have had Acne since the age of 14. It didn't start out like much of anything but it sure blossomed over the next 2 years. I had cysts always on the upper part of my body and always in a place that someone could see , or someplace someone could "touch" either with a slap or a light punch. Mind you, they didn't know they were hurting me because they couldn't see the cysts under my shirt. But I would flinch or grimmace to myself without letting on that I was in pain, in more ways then one, and I never told anyone. One time I had cyst on my left cheek so big and so belligerent that I let my family doctor lance it. It was deep and it seemed to drain like a dam ready to burst from a storm. I still have that scar, plus others, from that period of my life. By the time Accutane came out the damage had been done in more ways then one. The only thing that kept me going were the friends I had and the support of my family. Other then that I was ALWAYS very conscious, and still am, about what I looked like. There were few days in that time that a new outbreak didn't occur and a feeling that everyone was looking at it.

Like the rest of you I went through the gauntlet of antibiotics, creams, soaps, lotions and some home remedies that did nothing but line someone's pocket with mine or my parents money. Nothing worked, and to top it off I was working in an industry that surely was not good for my complexion; I was a cook. I went away to school in another state when I was 19. By then my face was a war zone and I was losing. Mentally I was determined to keep going but always feeling like I was missing out on something(sex maybe). School was about done for the semester when a teacher approached me about a new medication that came on the market. He said that when I get home to get to a doctor right away to see if it could help. My parents were one step ahead. The rest, obviously, is history.

I still get the cysts on occasion and I have been on Accutane 4 times since the age of twenty. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will be fighting this the rest of my life. However, I know that the patience and the drive I have acquired came from those early years when I had to go to school and face down a student or two who wanted everyone to know how bad I looked. I also have more of an appreciation for those who are struggling with their own problems, physically or mentally. I've walked away with a lot good from this experience and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I definitely don't like having acne but it helped me grow up in many ways.

So, for those who are complaining about the side effects; the dry skin, the headaches, bleeding noses, chapped lips, etc. etc. etc.. All I can say is deal with it. For me it was a sign that the medicine was working and help was on the way. I would happily explain the redness of my skin to anyone who wanted know because I was proud to have the intelligence and the courage to help myself. And for those who go off their diet, or have have a brewsky or two, please don't. You don't help yourself or others who are thinking about taking Accutane.

I hope who ever reads this gets something good from it. My experience is surely different and similar to others and just because because I'm still fighting it doesn't mean you will be when you're my age. The point is keep fighting, there's help and support for those who want it. Though at times it is hard to believe things could be worse.

You can email Jim at JimRubeo@AOL.com.

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